The ‘feminisation’ of worship songs

Is it weird for men to say "Jesus you're beautiful"?!

Seeming as many of us have been tweeting about this today, I thought I’d blog about it before I went to sleep.

As a worship leader I’ve heard this discussion numerous times over the years. Some people who’ve invited me to their Churches knowing I was a “female worship leader”, have insisted on checking my song lists ‘to make sure they were songs that men could and would sing too’. Yikes. Strangely, I’ve never seen a male worship leader get asked if their songs and set lists are suitable for women!

Anyways, the so-called feminisation of sung worship and Church-going is a really hot topic and one that was demonstrated by today’s Twitter flurry.  Clearly LOADS of different people have been having this conversation over months and years in different settings, but I was fascinated to see how today’s Twitter discussion got sparked –  I love the social media snowball effect!

Apparently lots of worship songs make men want to puke!

It  began two days ago, with a small conversation between @LeeAndBaz and @WendyBeechWard. Lee Jackson from @LeeAndBaz tweeted about there being a lack of worship songs that are man-friendly. So @WendyBeechward threw down the gauntlet and asked them instead of bemoaning the situation, to create a list of songs that ARE ones they like to sing! Lee and Wendy began tweeting about it, bringing in Carl Beech the CEO of Christian Vision For Men. It built speed yesterday, then today suddenly the whole thing blew up and everyone dived in. It was a lot of fun to watch and engage in.

I’ve been eavesdropping on this conversation that Wendy and Carl have been having for the past year or so, as they’ve discussed in depth the ways Spring Harvest and Christian Vision For Men can both help worship and Church-going in general, be more man-friendly. As soon as Carl joined the Twitter debate, I knew it was going to last a while!

One big highlight of the whole thing for me was my friend Pete Phillips inventing the hashtag #MachoWorship and inviting people to tweet the names of worship songs with a ‘macho’ theme. The responses were hilarious and had many of us laughing all afternoon. Nice work Pete!

** In case you aren’t someone who’s heard a lot about this, let me recap. The premise is that Church culture has become feminised and therefore uncomfortable for men. It’s become about singing songs, holding hands when you pray, using sentimental lyrics, men having to sing love songs to another man (Jesus) and talk about their deepest feelings. Some guys claim that this is not true masculinity and that we need to make Church a more guy-friendly place. There it is in a nutshell! **

The questions I feel that emerged out of today are as follows, and I’d love to get your thoughts on them:

  • Has the Church really been ‘feminised’ or do we just have an incorrect view of what femininity and masculinity mean?
  • Should it be harder for a man to sing ‘Jesus you are beautiful’ than it is for a woman to sing it?  

(On these two points I’ll be painfully honest…With all the patriarchy I’ve experienced in the Church it’s often felt like a male institution in which I’m tolerated rather than an equal. Clearly this isn’t a pleasant experience and one in which I and numerous other women, have felt very uncomfortable. So, while men may say they feel uncomfortable singing love songs to a male Jesus, we women also have our own versions of similar discomforts. So it’s not only the feminisation of the Church that should be raised as an issue. I think the masculinisation of the Church is still very much alive and kicking and needs to be challenged so that both men and women feel at home).

  • Wasn’t David actually a very emotional singer and songwriter, modelling what godly masculinity looks like?

If David was “a man after God’s own heart”, then in order to discover what God sees as masculine we should probably look to the Psalms. Yes there is a lot about spears, bows, armies and fighting. But there’s also LOTS about how much David deeply loved God, thirsted and hungered for him and spoke about God in adoring (and what we might call slightly slushy!) terms. David also wept so much that his bed was soaked from tears. His friendship with Jonathan was deeply emotional, and ‘better to him than the love of women’. Perhaps we should look to David for a vision of what being a MAN after God’s own heart looks like? What do you think?

  • “Jesus wept” is the shortest verse in Scripture. It packs a real punch. Could manhood actually be about owning and being secure in your own feelings and expressions? Jesus was pretty emotional.  

For example, He didn’t get uncomfortable when an extremely emotional event happened to him in public (the woman anointing his feet with perfume and wiping it with her tears and hair). How that would be considered highly AWKWARD today! But not to Jesus.

  • Why were so many people’s #MachoWorship suggestions about beer, DIY, shooting, hunting and fighting? Are we overlaying our skewed ideas of masculinity onto what godly men should be like? Have we been influenced by the ‘Cage Fighter Jesus’ that certain theologians peddle?!
  • Song of Songs was written by Solomon (ie. a man). Is that not evidence that godly men are able to express themselves freely in emotion and words of love and affection?
(I know many will say that SOS isn’t about God but about human love and sexuality. And I’m fine with either interpretation. My point is that Solomon was extremely in touch with his emotions and with the use of emotive and descriptive language. His poetry is so full of love and passion that it totally eclipses any of the ‘slushy’ worship songs that people criticise. He was waaaaaaay beyond those in his level of expression. Sure, perhaps his writings weren’t mean to be sung corporately. But it does show another portrait of a man who was very comfortable expressing emotion and love. Plus, people read his writings – so it wasn’t just private scribblings in a notebook. This was stuff that he stood by and was comfortable being known for).
Over to you….
- What do you think??
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