Why I’ve Been Having So Many Blood Tests

If you follow me on Twitter,  you’ll have noticed I’ve been having a lot of blood tests, and seeing my doctor a lot.

My blog is all about honesty and walking the journey of life and faith together. So I want you to know what’s going on. That way, I won’t feel alone in it. And I’ll be able to ask for your prayers!

Having led worship across the States and Europe pretty relentlessy for the past six years, I usually feel a bit tired and let-lagged. But over the past year it progressed to a different level of feeling weary and drained. This plus some other symptoms, led me to consult a doctor.

Having seen a specialist in the UK and in the USA, both have diagnosed me with an auto-immune condition.

Auto-immune conditions are basically when the body turns against itself in a destructive way. The cause for my case is unknown, as it is a very rare form.

The treatment for my condition is chemotherapy. This is combined with intravenous steroids to boost my immune system. I need constant blood tests as the chemotherapy can affect bone marrow and other elements of the body. (Chemo is often used for cancer, but just to clarify I don’t have cancer. They just use the same drug for multiple kinds of illness, including mine.)

I was already splitting my time 50:50 between the UK and US since the start of 2010. For the rest of the year I’ll be based in the UK, having treatment. That’s why you’ll notice my tweets are all about life in England at the moment.

I’ve been on the chemo for three weeks now.  The dosage starts low, so I am able to do my booked events in Sacramento next week. But beyond that all other USA events for 2010 have been cancelled, and I’m not taking any future bookings until my doctors reassess my health in January 2011 and decide what the way forward should be. I’m really disappointed to cancel events – especially Youth Specialties and Chicago’s Story conference, which would have been really amazing. This explains why there are no ‘tour dates’ on my blog site or Myspace at the moment.

I have one event in November in the UK, which I will do. And I’ll still work a few days a month as a consultant for Spring Harvest in the UK. I have the full support and prayers of my record label and booking agency, so we are walking this journey together.

It’s all been a lot to process.  I feel tired in my body, but my mind is as energetic as ever. So I’m channelling my time into this blog and into the female worship leader’s resource site that I launched a year ago called The Women In Worship Network and of course,  Twitter!

I’d love your prayers as I walk through the next few months of increased chemo dosage, blood tests and IV steroid infusions. The doctors will reassess my health in January. My condition should be completely treatable, but the process isn’t very enjoyable.

God is in control and I know all things will work together for his plans and purposes… I have a real peace about that!

Thanks for your friendship and support, and for being part of this blog community.

Now…over to you. I’m sure there are many people reading this blog who are facing equally, and far worse, situations with health, loved ones, finances… crises of countless kinds. How do you cope when you face something unexpected and painful?

-Vicky

Beijing Traffic Jam Could Last Until Mid September!

I just read in the online Wall Street Journal, that a traffic jam in Beijing, China, may last until mid September. The whole article and images are here if you want to read it it all.

The problems are caused by construction, creating a jam for dozens of miles. Apparently on Tuesday, the stand-still had been there for ten whole days and drivers of trucks were forced to eat food from road-side noodle vendors, and just sat playing cards all day.

That’s a serious tail back!

I’ve lived in California for the past two years, and one of the only down sides of sunny SoCal, is the traffic. Especially the nearer you get to LA.

Traffic just stops for ages, then moves again, all with seemingly NO REASON! This has happened to me there at 11am, 3pm and midnight…so clearly the crazy traffic doesn’t even play by the rules of traditional ‘rush hour’. How do you handle traffic jams? They are a real test of character aren’t they?

On a deeper level,  what do we do in life, when areas of our job, or a relationship, or a project, come to a standstill?

Do we get mad, yell, blame it on others…?

Do we need a reason for everything that happens, or can we choose peace in the standstill and trust that God sees from a bird’s eye view?

I learned in Southern California, that when traffic jams hit, there was no point stressing or trying to figure out they ‘why’.

I just had to relax, sit it out, and choose to do something positive and useful with the time… like call a friend on my hands-free kit, or work on some lyrics in my head.

Do you find that hard in life – to embrace times when you feel static and like things just aren’t moving forward? How do you deal with it?

-Vicky

Are You Tuned In?

Recently I was in a computer store with my best friend. We found this piece of software for sale, and the cover made us smile.

The image on the front made also me think…

As people with five senses to take in the world around us, we are able to tune into things – or not.

We take in such a small amount of the stimuli around us. We hear and see and taste and experience only a small chunk of what we could.

Tuning in, only comes through slowing down and regaining inner stillness. Which for all of us busy folks is pretty hard eh? :)

Tuning into God, ourselves, others... they are all so important.

My special subject at Oxford was “Christian Mysticism“.

Mysticism sounds a bit weird and cooky… but all it actually means is people who followed Jesus and prayed and listened to him in stillness.

So I’ll be blogging about some of the Christian Mystics that I studied at Oxford in the coming weeks, which I’m excited about!

Here are a few great quotes:

We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness.  God is the friend of silence.  See how nature – trees, flowers, grass – grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence…. We need silence to be able to touch souls. ~Mother Teresa

True silence is the rest of the mind – it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment.  ~William Penn

Silence is the universal refuge, a balm to our every chagrin. ~Henry David Thoreau

In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in an clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. ~Mahatma Gandhi

You can hear the footsteps of God, when silence reigns in the mind. ~ Sri Sathya Sai Baba

So…..

Do you have any silence and stillness in your life? How can you get some?

- Vicky

Jon Foreman Speaks About The Police Incident

So the  ‘Jon Foreman gets shut down by the police’  incident has got lots of attention on YouTube.

Jon put pen to paper and shared his perspective on the whole thing, in a great piece in the Huffington Post.

His thoughts are fantastic, as always. Here’s a few snippets:

“I couldn’t think of any crime we had committed. I couldn’t figure out whose civil liberties this officer was protecting. The whole thing felt so silly — so juvenile on both sides”.

“I went back to the instant replay on YouTube this morning to see what I could have done better. And after looking at the tape, I would have made a different call: I would have pushed for communication instead of one more song. I wish that I could have pulled the officer aside to hear his thoughts about the situation.”

“I’m still not sure why the officer wanted the music to stop. We were not the last to leave the parking lot, we were not blocking traffic, and there had been no noise complaints. The only reason he gave was that he wanted to go home.”

“Mr. Fisher, if in any way you felt threatened or disrespected by my actions the other night, please allow me to apologize. That was not my intention. I was simply hoping to play a few songs out in the parking lot for some folks who wanted to listen. I’m hoping to close this awkward incident the best way I can. I would love to find out how to do this sort of thing better for the next time we pass through. We all need each other. We all need second chances. We all need to learn from the replay. The umps, the cops, and me.”

You can read the full article on the Huffington Post website.

I love that Jon took the time to go to YouTube, watch the footage and reflect on it all. You don’t find many musicians willing to do that – humble enough to want to check they did the right thing.

What are you guys’ reflections on what Jon wrote?

- Vicky

“Hipster Christianity?”

A new book just came out called “Hipster Christianity – Where Church and Cool Collide“.

Apparently ‘Hipster Christians’ love all things technology and Apple, read Don Miller and Brian McLaren, love social justice and discuss the writings of Bonhoeffer.

I’m already feeling like the finger is pointing at me, as I tick all those boxes (she says, feeling slightly uncomfortable!).

The author, Brett McCracken, is worried that Church is heading into irrelevancy by being SO concerned with relevance and coolness.

And even though I am into all the things listed above (!) I wholeheartedly agree with his conclusions on Church and ‘the invasion of cool’.

It’s easy for any Church to slip into producing a show on Sundays, when really what we all want and need is a raw, real and un-polished encounter with Jesus.

Brett McCracken has written a short article summarising the book. I pasted that below.

After you’ve read it, let me know what you think in the comment section.

I’m reminded that Jesus never tried to be relevant. He didn’t blend in.

Are we as the Church sliding into aiming at “cool” more than we’re aiming at content? Do we pursue style over substance?

-Vicky

The Perils of ‘Wannabe Cool’ Christianity

By BRETT MCCRACKEN

‘How can we stop the oil gusher?” may have been the question of the summer for most Americans. Yet for many evangelical pastors and leaders, the leaking well is nothing compared to the threat posed by an ongoing gusher of a different sort: Young people pouring out of their churches, never to return.

As a 27-year-old evangelical myself, I understand the concern. My peers, many of whom grew up in the church, are losing interest in the Christian establishment.

Recent statistics have shown an increasing exodus of young people from churches, especially after they leave home and live on their own. In a 2007 study, Lifeway Research determined that 70% of young Protestant adults between 18-22 stop attending church regularly.

Statistics like these have created something of a mania in recent years, as baby-boomer evangelical leaders frantically assess what they have done wrong (why didn’t megachurches work to attract youth in the long term?) and scramble to figure out a plan to keep young members engaged in the life of the church.

Increasingly, the “plan” has taken the form of a total image overhaul, where efforts are made to rebrand Christianity as hip, countercultural, relevant. As a result, in the early 2000s, we got something called “the emerging church”—a sort of postmodern stab at an evangelical reform movement. Perhaps because it was too “let’s rethink everything” radical, it fizzled quickly. But the impulse behind it—to rehabilitate Christianity’s image and make it “cool”—remains.

There are various ways that churches attempt to be cool. For some, it means trying to seem more culturally savvy. The pastor quotes Stephen Colbert or references Lady Gaga during his sermon, or a church sponsors a screening of the R-rated “No Country For Old Men.” For others, the emphasis is on looking cool, perhaps by giving the pastor a metrosexual makeover, with skinny jeans and an $80 haircut, or by insisting on trendy eco-friendly paper and helvetica-only fonts on all printed materials. Then there is the option of holding a worship service in a bar or nightclub (as is the case for L.A.’s Mosaic church, whose downtown location meets at a nightspot called Club Mayan).

“Wannabe cool” Christianity also manifests itself as an obsession with being on the technological cutting edge. Churches like Central Christian in Las Vegas and Liquid Church in New Brunswick, N.J., for example, have online church services where people can have a worship experience at an “iCampus.” Many other churches now encourage texting, Twitter and iPhone interaction with the pastor during their services.

But one of the most popular—and arguably most unseemly—methods of making Christianity hip is to make it shocking. What better way to appeal to younger generations than to push the envelope and go where no fundamentalist has gone before?

Sex is a popular shock tactic. Evangelical-authored books like “Sex God” (by Rob Bell) and “Real Sex” (by Lauren Winner) are par for the course these days. At the same time, many churches are finding creative ways to use sex-themed marketing gimmicks to lure people into church.

Oak Leaf Church in Cartersville, Georgia, created a website called yourgreatsexlife.com to pique the interest of young seekers. Flamingo Road Church in Florida created an online, anonymous confessional (IveScrewedUp.com), and had a web series called MyNakedPastor.com, which featured a 24/7 webcam showing five weeks in the life of the pastor, Troy Gramling. Then there is Mark Driscoll at Seattle’s Mars Hill Church—who posts Q&A videos online, from services where he answers questions from people in church, on topics such as “Biblical Oral Sex” and “Pleasuring Your Spouse.”

But are these gimmicks really going to bring young people back to church? Is this what people really come to church for? Maybe sex sermons and indie- rock worship music do help in getting people in the door, and maybe even in winning new converts. But what sort of Christianity are they being converted to?

In his book, “The Courage to Be Protestant,” David Wells writes:”The born-again, marketing church has calculated that unless it makes deep, serious cultural adaptations, it will go out of business, especially with the younger generations. What it has not considered carefully enough is that it may well be putting itself out of business with God.

“And the further irony,” he adds, “is that the younger generations who are less impressed by whiz-bang technology, who often see through what is slick and glitzy, and who have been on the receiving end of enough marketing to nauseate them, are as likely to walk away from these oh-so-relevant churches as to walk into them.”

If the evangelical Christian leadership thinks that “cool Christianity” is a sustainable path forward, they are severely mistaken. As a twentysomething, I can say with confidence that when it comes to church, we don’t want cool as much as we want real.

If we are interested in Christianity in any sort of serious way, it is not because it’s easy or trendy or popular. It’s because Jesus himself is appealing, and what he says rings true. It’s because the world we inhabit is utterly phony, ephemeral, narcissistic, image-obsessed and sex-drenched—and we want an alternative. It’s not because we want more of the same.

Mr. McCracken’s book, “Hipster Christianity: Where Church and Cool Collide” (Baker Books) was published this month.

Jon Foreman From Switchfoot Forcibly Removed By Police

My friend Jon Foreman was doing his usual aftershow acoustic thing after their show ended.

I love his heart for people – even after a show he’s still playing and hanging out.

Then a police man, grabbed him and marched him off.

You can see the video here… craaaazy!

- Vicky

Vicky Chats To Darlene Zschech

Darlene has always been a real pioneer in the realm of female worship leading and songwriting.

I interviewed her for my Women In Worship Network site and posted the interview just a moment ago.

It’s not just an interview for women!

If you’d like to hear the story behind her song “Shout To The Lord”, she shares that.

You can read it here.

-Vicky

Can’t See Around The Corner?

This is a photo I took recently on the London underground, using my iPhone.

I like this image for two reasons:

1. It doesn’t show the viewer where they are headed. All you can make out is the end of the moving stairway and the start of a tunnel. It creates a sense of the unknown.

2. It also creates a sense of movement. It tells the viewer that they are moving down the stairway, being taken somewhere intentionally. Somewhere ahead where, by the time that stairway gets them to floor level, they’ll be able to see the hallway in front of them, and signposts on the walls telling them which train goes from which platform. And things will make sense.

When I look at this photo, I remember that even when life feels ‘blind’,  if we are walking with Jesus, his arms carry us, like that moving stairway.

He’s taking us somewhere, and we can know that for sure – even when we’re afraid because we can’t see what’s ahead.

Not in a weird, hyper-predestined, puppet-on-a-string kind of way.

Just, in a Father-who-loves-you-and-is-leading-your-life kind of way.

So whenever I panic that I can’t see around the next bend, he reminds me to rest and just ride the moving stairway.

And that he knows where we’re going.

And that he’s got me.

You ever feel that way?

-Vicky

Inception – What On Earth?

So I just got out of watching “Inception”.

And I’m not really sure what to think or say… it was long and very complex. And I feel like I’ll be thinking about it for a while.

I looked online for a  simple review to help me distill the movie into a few simple elements, but judging by this summary, it can’t be done!

“The movie was “a conceptual tour de force,  applying a vivid sense of procedural detail to a fiendishly intricate yarn set in the labyrinth of the subconscious, the writer-director has devised a heist thriller for surrealists, a Jungian‘s Rififi, that challenges viewers to sift through multiple layers of (un)reality”.

Hmmm… now that description was about as complex as the movie itself.

Anyone got any thoughts or interpretations?..

Anyone walk away from it with any spiritual insights, or reflections on what the movie shows us about life?

I’d love to hear them. Then I’ll share mine.

-Vicky

Do You Have A Vision?

I just finished reading this book.

Wow.

Talk about patience, hope and strong character.

Over twenty-seven years in prison, eighteen of which were spent locked not only in a cell, but locked away from the world, on a small island.

All because he had a vision to see justice and equality for everyone in his nation.

Here is his closing piece from the autobiography.

Hope it resonates with you, as it did with me:

“I have walked the long road to freedom.

I have tried not to falter.

But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill,

One only finds there are many more hills to climb.

I have taken a moment here to rest,

To steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me,

To look back on the distance I have come.

But I can only rest a moment,

For with freedom come responsibilities,

And I dare not linger,

For my long walk is not yet ended.

The true test of our devotion to freedom -

The freedom of all people,

Is just beginning”.

Wow.

Now that’s a man with a vision, who will NOT let go.

What’s your vision?

How do you keep it alive, even in the most testing circumstances?

-Vicky

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